Why I Won’t Do YouTube and Other Random Rambles

March 21, 2017

“Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” ― Rudyard Kipling

I’m awkward enough

For the past couple of weeks during my livestreams on my instagram, I have been getting a request. Some of my followers have wanted me to make YouTube videos for what is known as “BookTube” and as much as I think it would be fun and a bit of a challenge, I just can’t do it. Scratch that, I just don’t want to. I have tried the whole YouTube video thing before and they were horrible and I was awkward and it felt as if I was trying to be something I’m not.

I’ve had this blog for around three years now and the reason I started it was because I love to write. I find that my thoughts were always more organic when I got to write them out. As many of you know, I want to be a novelist and I want to reach someone through the written word and through this blog, I can do that. Sure, a lot of people may not read it, but I know that some do and that makes it worth it.

I called this platform “My Thoughts are a Blog” and it has become a bit of a trademark for me. Yes, I post book reviews and fun question tags, but this is also a place where I can babble and post my unfiltered thoughts for the world to see. Isn’t that what writing is all about? When you read a book, you are essentially seeing into the mind of the author themselves. Mind reading may not be as impossible as you may think Ladies and Gents.

I have a lot of respect for the people who have the confidence and courage to sit in front of a camera and vocalize their thoughts, but that’s just not me. I love to livestream on my instagram and talk to people who share my interests and I will continue to do so. Just as I will continue write out my thoughts here and eventually through a novel. However long it takes.

So there we go on that topic. Let’s move on.

I haven’t posted a rambling in a while. This was meant to go up yesterday as a Mindful Monday, but I got distracted and never finished it. Whoops. Anyways, I have made some progress on my current read of “Crooked Kingdom” by Leigh Bardugo and if you want to see more in-time updates you can follow me on my Goodreads account. I don’t like it as much as I liked the first book, but I’m sure it’ll get better as the pages pass. As for my own writing, I wrote something the other day and then just stared at it for about an hour before I realized I hated it. Saved it. Opened a new document and started over. I think that is the number one thing I have learned from writing. Never delete anything! You never know if you are going to need to use a thought you once had at two in the morning in which you integrated into a story about a rabbit and a cheese plate… To be clear, I have no idea where that sentence came from. Hmm, maybe I’ll use that in a story.

When it comes to my characters, I am finding that I am becoming quite possessive and protective of them. And I know that is normal, but my main character is starting to feel like a child to me. Does that sound weird? Possibly, but it’s true. I find that I want to keep her to myself because I am afraid people will pick her apart and tear her down. I guess that is a good thing…maybe? I don’t know, what do you think?

Going in a completely different direction. I am really missing dance lately. I hate that it basically ended when I graduated high school. I was probably the happiest I have ever been when I was dancing and now… well it’s not the same. And the worst part? My asthma has come back. I can’t work out or even do a single leap without heaving on the floor. I should probably go to the doctor…it’s been getting worse. I need to get back into it, but where I live (and we all know how much I loathe California) there isn’t a place to do it! Not unless I want to go to LA and I really don’t. Who knows what the future may hold, right?

Okay, I think that’s it for me today. See, this is what I love, just babbling to a blank page. Sure, I may be just screaming into a dark void or maybe across a deep chasm with only one other person on the other side. But I’m still speaking and that is all that matters.

Happy Tuesday!

– Haley

Author: My Thoughts are a Blog

21. Blogger, Star Wars, Marvel, and Book Enthusiast, Over-thinker, Aspiring Author who hates everything she writes, and mother to Gracie & Ghost.

2 thoughts

  1. I totally understand your reasoning behind not starting a channel of your own. It's all your choice. I made my channel because I want to try and break out of my introverted shell a bit and I think it's helping slightly. I also completely relate to what your feeling about your character. As a fellow writer sometimes it can be most difficult to develop your characters and then worry about what other people might think about them.


  2. Beautiful post! I'm so excited to hear that you are writing a novel! I totally get the whole thing about being protective of your character, that is totally relatable to me and a ton of other people. Writing a book is probably the most intimate and crazy thing you'll ever do, and it becomes like a child to you. On the whole, keep up this awesome blog and I hope to see your book in a store one day! Stay strong!

    Love, Bella xx


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s