July 25, 2016
Lately I have been thinking a lot about emotions and something has occurred to me. Nobody else in this world will ever feel exactly as you do. Remember that saying, “I know how you feel.” When in reality, you don’t. You don’t know how I feel, not really. Yes, you could be sad when I am sad or have experienced grief like me, but in this moment, you do not know what I am feeling.
I have observed that many people never say what they actually feel. I have only met a handful of people who are completely comfortable with sharing their emotions, but even then I wonder if they are telling the truth. I never truly share what I am feeling due to fear of judgement or mortification. I would say, “I’m okay.” or “I’m great, how are you?” or sometimes even, “I’ve been better, but I’ll be good in no time.” Many people say these things as well. Do you know why? It is because usually, nobody cares how you’re feeling. They tend to say it because it is a nicety, proper etiquette if you will.
When I was a child, I used answer honestly and I would get these strange looks or people would ask me if that is how I truly felt. Why would I have told you I was having a sad or boring day if I wasn’t telling the truth? I was brought up to never lie, and yet people didn’t believe me. Now that I am an “adult” I have started to see the truth behind these questions and I try to avoid answering them If I am genuinely curious about how someone’s day is going I will ask them and hope they answer honestly, they usually don’t. In these type of scenarios I am actually interested in talking to you and hearing about how your life is going. I like to think I can read people quite well and if you just say you’re “fine” when your eyes are bloodshot or your shoulders are lower than usual, then I will worry about you and ask you again.
Something else I have discovered about people is that they always try to seem stronger than they actually are. As humans we are subjective to multiple emotions everyday and we cannot help what our brains decide to throw at us. Sure we can “think happy thoughts” and all that, but it is the brain that will always win in the end. If we were friends and you woke up in the morning absolutely miserable, I wouldn’t want you to fake happiness around me. If sad and miserable are the emotions your brain decided to dish out that day, then that is fine by me. I will sit with you and talk to you for hours if that is what you need. Why? Because I get it.
On some days I have this never-ending battle with my brain and sometimes I almost win, but to be truthful, I never do. Why? Because that isn’t how it works. Yes, you can absolutely choose to be happy and walk around with a smile on your face and you may be truly happy. I am not saying that you cannot control you emotions. I am saying that when those days come where your mind just throws you a complete curveball, you shouldn’t run from it. You should look at yourself in the mirror and say, “Alright brain, you get today, not forever, just today.” and then, you go on with your day. I bet the next day, you will wake up and not feel anything like you had the say before, and if you do, well just repeat the process and accept it.
We shouldn’t have to hide our emotions. It is what makes us human beings. It shows that we have heart, soul, and mind. It is not the people who push all the misery, anger, and anxiety down that are the strongest in my opinion, it is those that acknowledge what they are feeling and still go through their days. Those are the people that I could sit with for hours on end and just talk.
If you ever need anyone to talk to about anything, I will talk to you. Want to talk about books? Sure! Movies? Of course. Feelings? Yep! Cats? Uh-huh. The meaning of life? Absolutely. Humans are fascinating and we all have stories and feelings that should be shared.
So, how are you feeling today?
I personally am feeling a bit empty as if someone had tipped me over and poured everything out, but tomorrow is a new day, as it is always.