March 2, 2014
Hello Hello Hello
Lately I have been having a lot of emotional issues that involve my self confidence. Every time I looked in a mirror I would see ugly hair, acne filled face, huge lips, bad body type and just too short and not pretty. Slowly I have been trying not to focus on what I am seeing, but what is really there. Growing up is hard and I know that, it’s just difficult to view yourself as beautiful when all you see is imperfections. I am only 16 and I am still in that awkward stage between a kid and teenager. I still have babyfat and my body isn’t fully developed. I have been watching a lot of YouTube videos about hair and beauty and I am trying new things to change up my look. It’s becoming warmer where I live, which means in my town: Swimsuits and crop tops. Now I could honestly care less about wearing a bikini at the beach or the pool, but crop tops out in public is horrifying.
Being as active as I am, I’m not out of shape or overweight for my height (which is very short) I just don’t feel very comfortable in my own skin. I want to be toned and proud of my accomplishments with my body. My skin isn’t great, and I am working on that immensely. I have been using clay masks at night and they have been helping so much. My black heads have reduced so much. I want to be able to go out into the world with mascara and lip balm on and not worry about my skin being full of pimples, redness, and discoloration.
Most girls at my high school are thin, long hair, clear skin and can wear the cute Brandy Melville clothes. My body type doesn’t work with Brandy. Yes I can wear some of the tops and sweaters, but the SHORTS? No. I swear it’s like trying to squeeze a hair tie of a wood log, Muscular legs and Brandy or Hollister shorts don’t work.
Being short also has bothered me I am 5’1” -5’2”. I average. It is very difficult for me to be this short, because I don’t have the long legs I don’t feel pretty. I feel frumpy and juvenile even though I turn 17 in June.
I am slowly getting over these ‘imperfections’. When you look in the mirror, and don’t like what you see. Someone will and see the beauty beneath the shortness, or the freckles you don’t like. Be who you are because there is only one of you, and you are beautiful.